Yesterday I met with a dear friend who challenges me in all the right ways. Recently a different friend made the comment that I had limited beliefs and I was struck. The shock of her honesty and its truth surprised me because I so easily admitted to myself that it was true and continues to be true. I always thought I was open minded, and still believe I am, but also realize I do need to stretch more. To leave the comfort and solace of my life behind a screen and have deeper conversations that amaze me and challenge me.
So yesterday, with a friend I’ll name Holly, picked up on my casually saying I don’t really have any close friends. I feel like I have many acquaintances, most are new to me and mostly I find a challenge to read. My limited belief has me understanding that “close friends” are ones you have known for years, who at least now a part of your history without you having to dredge up your sordid past.
But that’s simply not true.
While your past helps create you and form your perceptions, it does not define you. We are the present and in many ways it is simpler in the now. Close friends can actually be the people you can count on, like Holly for me, who will drop everything, or at least almost everything, if you need a couch or shoulder, an ear or a walk or run, even if it’s for thirty seconds. A close friend can be that person who simply gets that you need to reschedule, who understands that you need a day to hibernate, and who will answer your message at just the right time. At least for me, recognizing that a close friend can simply be someone who knows you now and sends you a meme or “thinking of you” message at the time you need it most.
A close friend may not yet know why your beliefs are limited, but they are willing and interested in sorting out why, no matter how long you’ve known them for.
With that shifting belief, I am blessed in knowing that I do have close friends and challenges to my thought process like this one promise to bring them even closer whenever I’m ready to let them in. I am thankful for Holly, and another friend I’ll call Eden, for their joy, freshness and easy way they make my life more complete.
What are your thoughts? Do you have close friends who are new and unburdened by your past circumstances?