Being a writer is usually enough for me. I know what I love, I can do it almost any time and any where and it just flows. I don’t worry about how good it is, how grammatically correct or what tense it’s in. I create characters, describe scenes, establish plots and just let the words flow. That’s it, that’s all.
And yet a potential job in the field, with a previously established audience and a purpose, even if it was based on non-fiction lit a fire inside me that hasn’t been lit in a long time. But as quickly as this job was given to me it was taken away. Without guidelines except for the blog being about parenting and child nutrition I was on my own and loving it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t what they expected or wanted – who knew as I don’t think they know what they want.
With Two Published Books…
I know I’m ahead of the game. Not even 30 years old yet I have two books under my belt, Sending You Sammy for children and Brain Tales Volume One for teens and adults, I know I’m lucky and made for this.
I’ve spent days, months and weeks marketing my books to no elaborate results even though I know they are great books and one is the beginning of an excellent series. I believe in my books, of course, and, maybe more importantly, I believe in me and my ability.
Yet after a year off from work…
I’ve been on maternity leave since October 30, 2009 and know I’ve accomplished so much in such little time. I gave birth to an amazing little boy, gained a knew respect for my husband and love him even more, and finished a full length novel I plan to be published this year. That’s a lot and I know it and my body and mind know it as they are exhausted.
But as the year off quickly comes to an end I realize how much I want to write fiction. I write for work and absolutely love the position I have and can’t imagine having any other job besides the one I’m going back to. If I can write and be paid full time, even if it’s non-fiction, I’m happy.
And as I prepare myself for the return, the changes and the sacrifices I realize that even if I’m happy at what I do to pay the bills I don’t feel like it’s paying me back.
I am a mom…
Whatever term you want to use, however you feel most comfortable, I am a mother. And I truly believe I’m a good mother and will do everything for my son that I can to make him happy. It’s true though, to make someone happy you do need to be happy yourself. And I don’t just mean smiling and warm and fuzzy inside.
I mean you need to be a success as yourself, not as a wife or husband or friend or mother, father, sister, whatever. Success is determined by yourself for yourself and it requires some meditation, self control and time to yourself. It needs some soul searching and confidence, bravery and stamina. I have all of that.
On a Mission
So with my first full length novel written and in the process of publication, my full time job requirements on the horizon and a new desire I’m searching for a part or full time writing job. Even if it doesn’t pay the bills and takes a lot of my time outside of my regular 40 hour work week I’ll do it.
I’m contacting newspapers, magazines and other publications. Without much money left over to enter as many writing contests as I’d like I’m searching for something – volunteer or otherwise to keep me writing and to establish myself as a serious writer. Deadlines are my inspiration and motivation, I take every job seriously and give it my all.
So if you know of anyone, can make suggestions or referrals please do.
I’m eager to start today.
Thanks for reading,
Sarah Butland