I offered stories from Brain Tales – Volume One for a review and this is one I received:
“Paper Flowers is a beautiful story about a young girl who lost her mother at a very
young age and her father learning how to cope and move on while still maintaining
memories. I feel for the father who is trying so hard to provide his daughter with a
happy life but it not able to find happiness for himself yet. Sarah Butlands story
brough tears to my eyes as I read through the story about a little girl looking for
memories of her mother but by the end these tears had turned to ones of happiness as
the father finally realizes that he has given her more than memories. “
substitute teacher for District 17&18 in New Brunswick
I liked your writing, the characters were developed well, however the only thing I could see that was off was the reaction of the husband to the stranger in his house.
I thought getting knocked out without so much as a “WHo the hell are you?” or “What are you doing on my property?” was a bit harsh. Even considering the situation about intruders that is explained later.
It says a lot to the reader if a man’s first reaction to the possibility of danger is to commit violence first. Tells us that he’s an angry, aggressive person, and doesn’t bode well for the relationship he might have with his wife.
Other than that it was a good story. Short stories are difficult to write for the limited space in which to create full featured stories where all characters and mood can be completely realized.
Good job though, I liked it.